Originally Posted by
raisingirl 
I also feel like this wouldn't have happened, and he would have had an easier time not drinking, if I had somehow been more supportive and a better girlfriend.
first of all, WELCOME to sober recovery,
raisin.
you are welcome, and you belong.
the above quote is why you
do belong in the rooms of al-anon, and in this forum. and thank you for your honesty. you know rationally that the statement isn't true, yet a part of you does believe that it is. this irrational and sad belief system is your ticket in. and it's not just about the surface belief that maybe you could have been "better" in order to keep him; it also goes deeper, to the notion that we are in charge of, or that we are supposed to have influence over other people....from what they do in their day to their very way of believing and feeling and acting.
not our role.
you may not feel like it now, but this break-up is a gift. you will one day - hopefully soon - believe that.
peace...