snack4,
first of all, WELCOME to sober recovery. you're right; this is a great forum.
one of the hardest things, is to comfortable not having all those answers right away. we just need to know, right?
i think that if you continue to come to this site and read and "listen" to someone the truths, that will help a lot. you will come to know the answers you seek.
also, if you asked my opinion, i'd have to agree with the poster who suggested that there is some instability. as for the woman from his past, i guess i think he is looking for something - a past love, his youth, drinking partner, sentimental stuff -- not sure, but even though i have had several addicts as friends and partners, i have not had one step out on me (not to the best of my knowledge anyway). they don't automatically go hand in hand.
the best thing, in my opinion, is to step back - which you have - and wait and see how he develops, and assess your feelings and needs. you'll be more clear if you wait.