This is about HIM and not about you. Cryanoak is 100% correct...you were given a Christmas gift. You can't understand unless you have been through what most of us here have but we would not wish it on anyone. Take time to grieve the loss and then move on with your life. I tried to love someone who did not love himself. It didn't work and it left me half crazy from trying.
I benefited greatly from going to AlAnon meetings. You might give them a try. I've learned a lot about myself.