I had the same thing happen. I live in my exAH's hometown, far from my own family. My XAH left me with 3 children. His parents were very cold and distant with me. His father still is (18 months later), but he is a weirdo.
XH's mother took on the role I did - reminding him to get his work done and to eat regular meals and take his different medications. She is still his devoted mother, but after a year of dealing with him in a codepemdent capacity, she is much nicer to me.
When a split is recent, there is a tendency to circle the wagons and protect your own. And they do NOT want to hear it from you - anything you say will be repeated to him - even if it is only an attempt o force him to clean up his act.
You circle YOUR wagons and assemble a support network that you don't share with him. that will benefit you more and hurt less.
