Ooooh. Good thread.
I used to blame myself. I thought maybe it was the relationship had calmed down and this was my long-term relationship nature? I thought maybe I had "binged out" on him...as I had been a bit of a freak in the bedroom. Then I realized it was the drinking. How can you want to have s*x with someone who treats you bad, says mean things, cons you to pay for dinner...you know the list.
Mine was also addicted to porn. I felt like over time he saw me as an object. Every night he was too drunk to get it up. So all he wanted was morning quickies. And he wasn't interested in any foreplay. No kissing, holding, nothing. He just wanted to lay beside me, touch me to wake me up and then tell me to "get the lube and hop on." There was a time I went along with this...as I said I am a bit of a freak so I don't mind a good emotionless bang occasionally. But at the end of the day, I'm still a woman. I wanted to be kissed, held, look in my eyes. Say nice things. Be "there." Clearly he just wasn't there anymore.
Also, he wasn't taking good care of himself. Dressing
When I finally started refusing, it was met with anger. He felt entitled to me sleeping giving him "morning quickies." He told me I was selfish.
Mine also got weird s*xually. Anyone else experience that? He seemed obsessed with different things at different times. Such as wanting to be seen doing it in public...as a power thing. He wanted people to see him having s*x and thought they would envy him. (I laughed inside...)