We have a daughter together and seriously, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of him coming here. After his non-stop drinking for 4 weeks and abusive phone call last week, he rang yesterday and asked if he could pick up our daughter on Christmas morning and I said, "No, she needs to be here with her brothers, sisters, family and friends." He wanted to have her because on this one day of the year, he was feeling all sorry for himself. He, in affect wanted to 'use' her for the day. So, instead, he's coming here to watch her unwrap presents in the morning and have breakfast. I already know he won't stay long because I have heaps of people coming here and the focus won't be on him. Plus he'll be too hung over to enjoy anything. Again, if it weren't for my daughter, I wouldn't have him here at all. What for? Same goes for you. If you give into the 'guilt', and spend the day with him, how are you going to feel the next day when he 'abandons' you all over again and you don't hear from him for God knows how long?