Welcome!!! I'm glad you're here. There are a whole lot of us around who have lived with alcoholics, active or recovering, or who still do. You'll find that here, as in Al-Anon, you can find people who can relate to pretty much anything you're experiencing or feeling at any given time.
A lot of what you describe sounds very familiar to me. I'm divorced from my (now recovering) alcoholic, but the behavior you're describing is exactly what I lived with for almost 20 years when he was actively drinking.
Someone here posted recently about how quitting drinking isn't necessarily the same thing as recovery -- it just means they're not drinking. True recovery is a multi-step process.
It's a tough situation to be in, protecting your children from the irrational outbursts of a person who should be protecting them. I've been there.
For me, the solution was spending enough time on my own recovery, through Al-Anon, but also through counseling and reading and doing things on my own that had nothing to do with alcohol or my family problems. I needed to change my thinking, because it was all focused on him, on trying to pre-determine when he would fly off the handle, to the point where I didn't have a life of my own. I stopped feeling. I stopped doing things I wanted to, because I felt like I always had to be available to avert disaster.
Among my Al-Anon friends, there are many who live with actively drinking and sober alcoholics. I couldn't do it anymore. Learning how to build your own life and take responsibility for your own actions, whether you stay or leave, is an amazing thing.
I hope you find some good thoughts and companionship here.