Originally Posted by
sailorjohn 
Yeah, there's the rub.
Once you remove the pain from the relationship, then you have the pain that was underneath all that to deal with, and the pain of ending the relationship.
But it gets better.
Exactly! Now I am looking back at all the crappy things he did over the past few years and am getting angry, I'm sad about ending the relationship, everything. Grrrr.
I went to my therapist today, am going to another Al-Anon meeting tomorrow, then to a friend's house the next day...trying to stay busy and do things that help me.
I have decided to call him after the new year to have "the talk" unless he calls before then and wants to do it. I weighed the guilt I'd have over doing it now vs the pain of waiting, and I chose the pain of waiting as the lesser of two evils.