Welcome to SR..you might want to read the stickies at the top, ...make yourself at home, post and read around.
This is unacceptable behavior and not that of a responsible adult. It isn't excused by alcholism, depression or any other diagnosis that I know of. I consider it emotional, mental domestic abuse. Living with abuse of any kind feels horrible and leaves a lasting impact. Walking around on eggshells because of his "spells" is a bunch of horse-doo in my opinion. This isn't fair to you or the kids.
I would honestly suggest getting in touch with your local dv folks for some counseling to help sort this out.
You deserve so much better than this as do your kids. I know they love their dad and want their family intact but in the meantime they are learning that this is normal life and it isn't.
((((((hugs))))))))))