This is all so new it's hard to wrap my head around. I suppose I should be more forthcoming. I have been dealing with my wifes cyclical ups and downs with her problem for quite a while. I would be attacked and apologized to, then peace for a while before the beginning of a new cycle. I'm sure some of you know what I mean when I say I could see it "building up" and I knew I would have to brace myself for a rough night or two. More recently, the apologies stopped happening. I believe she started thinking I deserved to be attacked but who knows.
Over the last 4 months or so, she has started drinking daily. On one occasion in particular, I got a phone call from her asking if I had put our daughter on the school bus, I was at work. When I said no she started freaking out about what would happen to her instead of immediately looking for our child. It turned out that the little one got herself on the bus no coat and all. That was the beginning of my breaking point. Now I know I'm guilty of not backing down from her arguments but I was always afraid of calling the police after being attacked. Being a man puts me at an automatic disadvantage in a domestic situation which fed that fear. Last week I got into an argument with her, "tried" to take away the box of wine she was drinking, and was attacked in front of our daughter. After seeing the look on her face I realised it was time to involve the police. They came out but didn't file a report so I got a lawyer.
My wife started bullying me with threats of taking me to war and telling me I was responsible for destroying our family. She had already been talking about moving out for a while in an effort to have some "space"...but based on her drinking habit lately, I couldn't see how our daughter would be safe with her. On Monday I filed an order for protection, now I'm facing a hearing to see if it goes through next Tuesday. I never wanted it to come to that and it's killing me that she wasn't willing to work on it with me. Part of the order stipulates required alcohol treatment. I feel as though it's my only recourse. If we're not going to be together anymore, she can at least be sober for our daughter or so I hope...I just really hate feeling like the bad guy right now even though I know I'm not.