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Old 12-21-2010, 07:06 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
HoopNinja
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Hi ResilientFather welcome to SR. This is an incredible place with people who have been where you are at and understand. To me, that gave me the stamina and backbone I needed to work on my codependency and once I was healthy, leave.

xah is just like your wife. He is also heavily involved in the church and has been for close to 30 years so I am seen as the "evil one". It bugged me for a while but I had to come to terms with the fact that those people did not live in my house and did not have to put up with the garbage I did. To this day they either truly believe him or are in complete denial themseves.

She may be able to pull the wool over other's eyes for awhile. Don't beat yourself up for covering for her. It is what we codependents learn how to do. We actually think we are helping our loved ones when we do this. I found out here that is not true-- and that I was hurting me and my sons.

You know the truth. If you think she is trying to build some type of case against you start to document everything. Every phone call, text, email, conversation you have with her. Try not to engage in battles of you are an alcoholic/no I'm not. Until she decides to help herself there is nothing you can do.

Again, welcome and keep coming back. I would never be where I am now (safe, happy and relatively sane) had it not been for the people here at SR. There are lots of incredible Dads here too who understand what you are going through.
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