You wanna make amends? Give me money!
I'm grateful that my RABF is working such a strong program, and has been so loving, available, and helpful to me during the holidays (not a good time for me), but he hasn't worked in the 6 months he's been in sober living and isn't really trying to get a job. I have been paying for everything when we're together, and he has given me whatever little bit he can, but...
He recently sold an expensive piece of jewelry, and when I asked him to give me a nice chuck of money to help even the scales he got all nasty about it (said he wanted to use the money to buy his brother and sister xmas presents...really though, his family are all rich and don't give him a dime, and here I am, poor, struggling, and spending 2x the money I should because I am paying his way for everything). I understand he's working his amends steps, and feels he owes his family a sober xmas and wants it to be really special, but he'd not only be leaving me alone on xmas, he'd be leaving me flat broke by not paying me back.
Of course, I freaked. Told him he had some nerve taking so much money from me constantly and then leaving me here alone while he went and spent the money he should give back to me on his rich kid brother and sister in their 12 million square foot mansion while I sit home alone in my rental room on xmas unable to buy myself a hot chocolate. Then he said the money was REALLY going to MY xmas present, a surprise trip to his family's winter house, and not to his brother and sister's gifts, and that that was just a cover-up, and I had ruined the surprise now. Blah, blah, blah. Right, I don't even know if I believe him. Think he may have just said it to save face. Regardless, I don't want a trip up to see his family, who don't want me there anyway (don't think it's personal but who the hell knows really), I WANT MONEY. LOL.
Should I just let this one go? I feel like I have been expecting too much of him lately and should just be grateful that he has become such a kind and supportive person in recovery. It's a long road and I am having some resentments and don't know how to deal with them. I can't make him get a job, obviously, and he's not going to instantly transform into a bread-winning superman, but... Sorry for venting.