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Old 12-20-2010, 05:57 PM
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tupsi
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Co-dependent in other relationships

Hi everyone.

I am a ACOA (A is mother) and I realize that I learned a lot of bad behaviors growing up. Typical coda stuff (checking bottles, begging, pouring out booze, feeling bad if she was drunk/happy if she was sober, driving if she was too drunk, etc.). Now, I am worried that this is also transferring to my relationship with my husband.

As an example, he has been struggling with depression quite badly lately (he is not an A). Of course, I want to support him, but I realized I am totally unsure of where the "line" that a normal person would know is. I find myself wanting to "fix" his problem, and solve it. If he has a good day, I have a good day. If he has a bad day, I have a terrible day. I can literally feel his pain. I worry so much about him, that it is no good for either of us.

So I guess I would like to know:
- have other ACOA's been thru this?
- is depression similar to alcoholism (a disease that totally takes over)?
- how to survive this without going crazy myself?
- how to be happy when someone you really love is so sad?
- am I making things worse by being so co-dependent?
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