Dear Lost:
Heart-wrenching. Your situation is so familiar to all of us. I wish I could give you hope for your wife's recovery, but I can tell you that there IS life and a future for the effected family members to have a healthy, happy future. I'm living proof, as are many others here.
You HAVE to remember that you did NOT cause this, you COULD NOT control it, or cure it... and your children need to know that as well. Very important they get affirmation of that.
It is what it is and there is nothing more you can do that you haven't already tried.
Looking back, I wish that I had not hung in there so long. My XAH of 26 years went through 30-day inpatient treatment a total of 3 times during our marriage. The money might as well have been flushed down the toilet. Not to say that treatment isn't worthwhile... as I know there are people who DO recover. I just don't know any personally.
After all those years of emotional turbulence, financial disasters, the ship was sinking and I then realized I must jump or go down with it. At that time, my youngest son was just 14. Best decision I've made in my life to leave. Single parenting is not easy, but it's a lot easier than trying to parent with an alcoholic partner!
Concentrate on YOU and your children. Go forward with God's help and you'll be fine.