Maybe I'm off base, but it sounds to me like you are trying to keep everything under control and feel responsible for your kids having a happy Christmas. Hon, that is not your responsibility. Your kids are old enough to take care of their own happiness and your husband sounds like he doesn't have any other switch position other than angry. If it were me, I think I'd just make plans for my own happiness on Christmas and let them all fend for themselves. It's one thing when kids are small and we try to hold things together, but with the kids being grown, they don't need your protection from the realities of life. Just my opinion.