Poohfanlbv

Hello all...

I simply don't know what to do. You all have been so amazing with your help and suggestions and I hope there is some great wisdom and advice out there. So here is the latest, I saw him last weekend on Sunday. We were celebrating another month of sobriety and went to a show and dinner. Everything seemed to go along just fine. No talk about a relationship or dating. Just the two of us hanging out celebrating his success.

Then came Monday...he called me Monday night and seemed very confused and concerned. The conversation turned into us and our future and what he wanted. This is where the confusion comes in. So he is telling me that he wants me in his life and wants to hang out, go to dinner, go shopping, go to the theater, etc. But it has to be as friends, not dating or as a couple. I am fine with that. I reminded him that we had already had this conversation weeks ago, so I wasn't sure what was really going on. He told me that if we go to dinner or hang out that it is too intimate and feels like a date. And he does not want us to go on dates. I told him that to me, it was not a date and that if he needed to step back and not hang out that I would understand and when he was ready he could reach out to me and that I would be there. This upset him and he started talking about wanting us to hang out and do things. So now I'm totally confused as to how to proceed with him. If we hang out, he percieves it as a date. If we don't, he gets upset that we aren't spending time together. Either way, it causes a problem. He said he would just take things one day at a time and see what happens.

Then this past weekend, he called me and we chatted briefly. No deep conversation, just seeing how each other was doing. I was heading to a holiday party that night and told him I had to get going to the party. He told me that he was tired and heading to bed and told me to have fun. Then at midnight he started texting me to make sure I was okay and wanted to make sure I had made it home okay. Here is how the text conversation went:

Him: Are you ok? Did you make it home okay?
Me: Still at party. Can't sleep?
Him: Was on the phone with a friend and now going to bed but wanted to check on you first.
Me: I'm fine, heading home soon. Thanks for checking on me.
Him: I care a lot about you. I just wish I were complete enough to be more for you.
Me: I understand. Take one day at a time. One day you will be complete. Sleep well.

I haven't heard from him since and I am trying to just leave him alone and let him figure things out and focus on himself. But the situation is so confusing now. I'm just not sure what to do. He is such a wonderful person and I know that he is doing the right thing and I have so much respect for his honesty and understanding that he needs to make himself better. The problem is that this makes me care for him even more. It hurts me to know that he is going through this and that there really isn't anything I can do to help him. Any words of wisdom?

Thanks to everyone for listening and advising.

-Poohfan