You have recognized that you do NOT have to live this way, and you have made a decision to reclaim your life. Good for you because you are worth it! You are in my thoughts and prayers
This is wonderful Sasha.
Phlegmatic, please do remember you don't have to do anything.
I remember when it first really hit me that I
didnt have to live like this anymore.
I was in trouble because of my drinking, I was miserable physically and emotionally, my chain of command had ordered me to rehab.
The thought occurred to me'
"I don't have to do this anymore."
I cannot explain the relief I felt. It was all out in the open, and I could get professional help.
You don't have to live this way.
Beth
PS
this also happened when my ex came pounding on my apt door one night (we were separated) he was drunk, and that same wash of warmth came over me,
"I dont have to live this way!"
yep, good stuff.