Originally Posted by
eddie73 
yeah bugger it im just been selfish. I know the difference between sober and not sober. i gotta just find something better to do wit my time.
Hey Eddie. Glad you have managed to string 75 days straight together.
Don't leave before the miracle happens.
We have tools we use to keep us on the straight and narrow. Our tools are top shelf. We have tools for most applications. If we need, we can get advice and a loaner tool or two from others in the program.
We don't keep ours in a big roll away box. Ours are in a book. Or at a meeting. Or on a wall. Or across from us at a table in the form of a sponsor. Our tools are the steps. And the acceptance and hope we get from each other.
I have never seen evidence that the program failed. Anyone. I have seen us fail each other. I have been a Pallbearer for a few who opted out. Some were my own family.
This is going to get a little long winded. Humor me, while I tell of an old Native American legend.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Like the instruction manual says, we are not guaranteed a life time of sobriety. As recovering addicts / alcoholics, we are never cured. All we are granted is a "daily reprieve" based on our spiritual condition. Based on how well we tend our garden. Based on which wolf we feed.