jackthedog,
you wrote
"It is like a death in so many ways." You
ARE going through the normal process of grieving. You are grieving the loss of your relationship with your husband. It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. The breakup of a marriage can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. A divorce is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of your dreams and commitments. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief. Everything is disrupted!
Recovering from a breakup or divorce is difficult. Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening. Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel the pain. Take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.
However, it’s important to know, and to keep reminding yourself, that you can and will move on, but healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward. Remind yourself that you still have a future.
In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Consider this a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger!
Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings during this difficult time is necessary as part of your healing process. Attend as many Ala-non meetings as possible and keep active here on SR.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix
Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.