Well, we had the hard talk yesterday. We agreed that she shouldn't buy hard liquor any more at all and stick to two bottles of wine a week. To make that happen, we agreed that she will not have cash (except some emergency amount that she shouldn't touch) and only use the credit card which we'll be able to monitor. Maybe it'll also help us get a better grip on our ran amok expenses. There was crying, accusing me of past offenses, and in the end reproachment. I know I shouldn't bet my life on its actually happening exactly as planned - but you got to have some hope, no?
In the meantime she had a first sober day in a week with no drinking at all (I think). At night she got the sweats, and sipped a glass of wine. This morning she went to the gym, which is a good healthy sign.
We'll see....