Originally Posted by
closetdrinker 
I can force myself not to drink for days straight.
What happens when you do that... force yourself to not drink... does your life get better, are you happier? .... or .... do you become restless, irritable and discontent? .... Do you find yourself obsessing about drinking... when you are finally alone again? ... Thinking about those beers you stashed away somewhere so no one would know?
I am a high profile individual in a small town... I'm not an elected official, though I was one once... so yea, I get it.... I'm AA, and sometimes I run into people who I know, but most of the time they are there for the same reason I am... but unlike you I am not currently an elected official... so I have no direct experience to share.
It's not clear from your posts... Are you going to get another opinion? Do you really need one? You were attending AA before, 20 years ago... Are you alcoholic? ... It's self diagnosed.... I feel very strongly, and have good reason to believe, that only a well trained in alcoholism, preferably recovered, counselor is qualified to help you... especially if you've ruled out other support, like AA.
Maybe get a Big Book, keep posting here, and, well... quit drinking. Oh, and are you really fully functioning? If so, what are you doing here
...
Welcome to SR. It is a fine place to base some, a lot, or, for some people, all of your recovery. Keep posting, let us get to know you better... Check out the 12 step support section if you want to start, again, step work.
Mark