I have massive regrets about the childhood my children lived. I have massive guilt about the pain that they endured. But, I did not purposely or knowingly set about to do that to them. I can see it now, only in hindsight. If I could do it all over, it would be them first, him second. But, I can't. I can only go forward from here.
I wish I would have done right by them sooner. I wish I could make everyone see what living like this does to them. I will live with that the rest of my life.
L
Oh my, me too L.
But, the memory of my shame (as an alcoholic mother) is right next to my heart, and there is an actual physical sensation of dread and sorrow when I contemplate solving a problem with a substance, or even another person.
Beth