"Is this how they are sober?"
He does not sound sober, you say he is running around drinking with a woman and stinks of booze.
No, he is not sober.
This is not the hardest thing you will ever do. You can make the choice. The hard part is doing your work. The stepping away seems hardest because it is your resisitance to your work.
He is not sober. It is too much for you to try and make sense of a drinking, active alcoholics words/behavior and the inevitable hypocrisy that comes from that.
What about YOU? What do you want? What kind of days do you want to have?