The trick will be fighting with my intense desire to fix it for him and my guilt for hurting him. With my feelings of empathy and pity for him and my discomfort in his pain.
i can relate. i find it helpful to remind myself that stepping back and letting him suffer the consequences of his drinking is the most helpful thing i can do. that helps me to not interfere.
and i don't think that taking care of yourself and your children is you causing him pain. his pain is caused by his drinking. you did not cause it.
you're doing great, crystal.