cafleen,
I'm Phoenix...one of the older members of SR...
NOT WISER...
JUST older!
I a 58 year old codependent, currently in a 40 year marriage with a dry drunk husband. For the majority of our marriage he actively drank over more than half a gallon of rum each and every night. When he finally quit he went cold turkey without working on his journey of recovery. Our marriage was and still is always about him! His common reponse to decisions we needed to make was "What about me (him)!" Your relationship with your AH sounds so similiar!
You wrote
"My kids prefer a united home, so I'd rather stay." Most children prefer a
"united home". Do you
REALLY have
"united home"? Or is this something that you
WISH you had?!
I suffered a life changing massive stroke in DEC 2009. From DEC 23rd until JAN 8th I suffered from vascular dementia, and almost died. Once vascular dementia develops, there are no drugs currently approved by the FDA to treat it. My doctors had no scientific explanation why this miracle happened. The only explanation is
By the Grace of God! However, when I came back into reality I was filled with so much rage and anger inside of me for "wasting" my life.
One of the only lucid dreams I remember when I was suffering from my vascular dementia was of me being surrounded by darkness. I was in the middle of a big pasture with darkness all around me. In the middle of this pasture was a farm house with its lights on. As hard as I tried to run to that farm house, I kept running into obstacles that hindered my path. I finally made it to that farm house, and I was welcomed in. I sat beside a warm toasty fireplace, and was able to use the phone. Shortly after I talked on the phone I found my way back to reality. I will let you interpret my dream, but I'm a Christian and have my own interpretation!
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