I have spent a lot of time in thinking was it all a lie? Didn't he love me? He loved alcohol. His kids, his well being, me were all second, third, fourth to his one true love. VODKA. As long as we made it easy for the lifestyle to continue, we were ok. If we made waves or cut off support, they have to find someone else to take care of them. They will always be taken care of. Don't we deserve more than that? Who will take care of us? Not them.