I can relate to the 'staying busy' thing. I felt and sometimes still feel almost paralyzed by my emotions or not knowing 'how to feel'. It's kind of like a suspended reality that isn't real at all.
In my quest to stay busy, I just added Al-anon meetings to my schedule. I have a young child, so sometimes it's tricky, but I try to make at least 3 meetings a week. After each one, I feel that much stronger and that much more genuine in my own skin.