Originally Posted by
RedBaron 
Thanks for all of this. Part of me says listen to the lawyer, but part of my says that when you've got a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and in the end, an attorney is always going to push legal solutions. Also, the comment about the extended family is very true: If I file, they will all be appalled than I'm, as someone said, pulling the rug out from her and they'll see it as sabotaging her. And remember that their testimony as to what they've seen of her drunken antics and what they've heard the kids report is pretty important here: Blood is already thicker than water, and if they all rally around her because I'm the bad guy, it will have real consequences. AAAAAARGH!
I would ask your lawyer how important their testimony would be in obtaining a TEMPORARY oder for sole use of the house. I'm not quite sure that their opinions would come into play...perhaps they might, but I doubt it. You would be safeguarding the children from having her return home unexpectedly. At this point in time, you are still married and she can legally return when she chooses. Having her removed from the home once she's back may prove far more difficult than preventing her from returning now that she is gone.
I think that you and your lawyer need to include in your petition for temporary use of the house that you want your AW back in the home WHEN it is safe for her to be back. Your sworn affidavit should include provisions of when the temp order can be revised and that your goal is the safety of the children, nothing else. Obviously, her family are going to see you as the bad guy...but then, there's really nothing you can do to prevent them from thinking or doing anything.
HOWEVER, it would be important to remind yourself that what is happening right now is a direct consequence of HER CHOICE to continue to drink. She is going to have to learn how to deal with the consequences of her choices. If you were simply to lay down and let her come home whenever she feels she's "better" you would be doing a great disservice to her, to your children and to her family as well.
Food for thought.
BTW, I work for a lawyer. Yes, your lawyer will tend to recommend a legal route, however, your lawyer works for you, and you make the ultimate decision. If you feel that your lawyer isn't respecting your wishes, feel free to look for another one. I did this in my divorce and was very glad to discover that there are good lawyers out there, who are able to listen to their clients' needs and present a realistic picture of the potential outcome.