Welcome!
I am an ACOA and a recovering co-dependent of my ABF.
As much as I don't like my ABF's mother's approach of denial with my ABF, I cannot control what goes on in their household. I have made the conscious decision to have a peaceful household with no alcohol. ABF has moved to his mother's for a temporary separation and is in no way in treatment or a program at all.
I gave you this background so that you know of my experience.
As much as I'd hate for his 'old friends to have get togethers and such, there's not one thing I can do about it. I would hope my ABF has a good friend or two who really understood the disease of alcoholism and supported our mutual goal of having a healthy family.
I'm sure your friend's husband is freaking out a little bit. In a situation like this, the sober spouse can feel that the whole family is threatened by almost every exterior force out there. Of course that's not reality, but your friend's husband probably needs some treatment of his own. Offering him support in the middle of this crisis is a good first step, I think. I do have one of ABF's friends who has offered support, but I have to be careful because she does not have some of the background needed to truly understand the situation. It's nice to know the sentiment is there, though.
As the family member of an alcoholic, I know I've been resentful of people who want to rush to the A's side with help and not notice that the whole family is in crisis.
That may be some of what you might experience with this husband, who is clearly hurting.
Patience and love is needed from all directions.
Peace,
skipper