Originally Posted by
Rhode 
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
In my mind, my worry was about my children growing up and asking me tough questions about how did I let their loved mother fall.
I fully support the first sentence.
The second sentence, however, suggests that it is under your control whether she makes devastating choices, or not, and that you would own the consequences of her choices.
Ultimately, her choices are NOT under your control, and you should not take on the consequences of her choices - this distorts the system and allows the dysfunction to spread when this happens.
I believe one of the most loving things you could do - for yourself, your wife, and your children's futures - is to engage in Alanon, where you will get perspective, support, and skills to navigate this devastating disease and its PERVASIVE effects on the
entire family system. There is nothing like immersing oneself among the "experts" when one is problem solving.
Great job being proactive and looking for information. There is support out here and at Alanon, and there is a healthy, happy life out there if you learn the basics how to get there! Learning the information and taking the steps now can completely change your children's whole life experience!
Sending encouragement,
CLMI