Drinking or not, this is no way to treat you. If he is that conflicted, you need to make the decision for him and cut the string. I was kind of on a string for a bit and I really grew to resent him for it. But he was trying to sort through recovery and felt a relationship was too much. Fine. So I basically said 'good luck and ya know where to find me'. Billions of men and I'm gonna sit and wait for a jobless guy with no car 'decide' if he wants to be with a me? I don't think so.
Factor in that he is still drinking, his head is in a hazy fog much of the time and he clearly can't sort himself out. He really doesn't have the capacity to be in a relationship. That part is true. So why be with someone who is telling you he can't be there for you? Why even debate it? You deserve someone who is dying to be with you and spend time with you, someone SOBER.
You are seeing it clearly and it will be very sad because you know you do deserve better and this man cannot treat you better.*
*You know where is a great place to meet guys? Deli's during the lunch hour! You get all kinds of guys with JOBS buying sandwiches.. just sayin
