Bernadette is right. My daughter, too, seemed to be growing well and happy, and was proud of her achievements. She was almost always jovial and boisterous, and exhibited no behavior problems (she was very, very obedient).
I was so proud of what a bang up job I was doing "managing" her mom while still raising a "healthy" child.
Until she was 11. It turns out she'd been aware of, and seeing, everything since the age of 3.
One of the questions I've had to answer to her, and to my great and eternal shame, is why I didn't protect her from her mother's drinking, and why I was always protecting her mother. It is the single most awful thing to arise from her mother's alcoholism and my controlling nature and denial.
I was a willing and engaged partner in ruining my daughter's childhood, and perhaps her entire life. I'll never get over it. Ever.