Oh how the alcoholism thrives in secret!!
Does your wife like to read?
Betty Ford's story is pretty inspiring.
The only shame is in keeping it secret and not getting help! There is a world of help and acceptance out here for people who step into the light and admit they have a problem and are ready to ask for, and more importantly, accept help and follow directions!
I grew up with an alcoholic dad. The teenage years were the most intense because a teenager is hard wired to recognize and confront hypocrisy and living with an active alcoholic and the other parent in denial and enabling is a class A example of hypocrisy!!!
We were all "wonderful kids" too. Of 5 kids, the 3 boys have addiction issues (alcohol and pot) and my sister, despite her PhD is a puddle of insecurity, low self-esteem and depression. And we had the outwardly "normal" middle-class upbringing, with a big extended family. I suffered a lot too for years but AlAnon and therapy and hard work have gotten me to a place of real serenity.
Wish I had heard of AlATeen when I was a teenager - but no one in my family had the guts to say anything about the TRUTH to us kids. Cowards! All protecting the addict!!! Hey, what about us CHILDREN/YOUNG PEOPLE innocently experiencing and believing this world as "normal????"
Stick around - lots of good stuff and folks here - collectively we've seen it all!
Peace-
B