Originally Posted by
Rhode 
Catloveme suggested
"If she wants to drink, she should provide herself the money, transportation, location, (reliable) childcare and other things she "needs" to drink, apart from your home and children. If she is not able to provide herself these things, to continue drinking, you need not take it on as your problem, with the exception of keeping the children safe."
How would you do it technically? Separate our bank accounts? She has no separate income - so I'd have to give her money ....
This is not correct.
She is an adult, able to earn her own income, if she needs income. That she CHOOSES not to be employed, and to drink to wile away time is her CHOICE.
That she
able to CONTINUE to do this, by buying alcohol to abuse
using family money, is YOUR CHOICE.
Setting a boundary that no family money will be used toward alcohol, and what you WILL do if it is, is a start. She is free to make her choices, then. And you are free to follow up with the consequences of your boundary being breached, if need be.
Boundaries are what we define as acceptable circumstances for ourself, and what we are then willing to do if they are breached, to protect and maintain ourself and our environments. They give the alcoholic the choice what they want to do, but ALSO give them the responsibility for the consequences of their choices.
CLMI