Teggie, I was about 3 when my parents separated. My dad had a drinking problem but quit the morning a police car brought him home and I asked him if he just got out of jail. When they separated my mom worked double shifts at a sub shop. Sometimes when she had no sitter I slept on her coat on the floor or under the sub table. Yes, we did have subs for dinner ALOT. My father would pick me up and take me to the carnival, the movies, give me money, bought me 2 mini-bikes, a horse, blah blah blah. I thought he was the coolest and best dad in the world. When I got older I realized he wasn't the coolest nor the best dad. In his world, he thought he was too. I realize now that my mother sacrificed everything to put a roof over my head and food on the table. She now lives in a mother-in-law apartment attached to our garage that my SO built. I would never let my father live with me. My point is, the parent without the responsibility always seems to be the best because they can live a care free life. My mother never had that chance and I know she did it because she loves me. My father (who has many mental issues) will tell me in one breath that my mother turned me against him and in the next breath will ask her if he can borrow money. Your children will realize who the best parent is, it just might take time.