...and we both know how hard it is to do it. However, there is no other choice and I'll send my thoughts your way.
I left and divorced AW after several years of what I consider to be husband and child abuse on her part even though it wasn't physical, , and we were No Contact for two full years other than exchanging our daughter. She was alone without my support during that time (except her car and phone, and only because we share a daughter), and it was the best thing I ever did.
I'm positive that the biggest reason we are together today is because I left her and was working (and continue to work) my own program of recovery in Al-Anon. It was not a guarantee and could easily have gone another direction, but in our specific situation we ended up with the opportunity to be together again and I'm glad of it on this day.
Take care,
Cyranoak
P.s. I'm no longer in hell.
Originally Posted by
breakingglass 
i haven't been on here in a while but today i just can't cope alone. my AH was so drunk yesterday but i wrote if off as being "football" day. i know, i know, i shouldn't make excuses for him. but the worst of it is that he's already drunk today. i just want to go home to a normal husband. i want to have a normal conversation. i want to talk about Christmas plans and our vacation coming up but it so HARD to talk to him when he's like this. i can't bare today and on top of everying i came to work still sick. i want to stop the anxiety inside me right now before i explode....... i do try so hard to "detach" myself from him and his drinking but he's so "in your face" when he drinks that its so annoying. i just can't go home and i'm so tired and sick and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!