Hello all, I'm new here. I'm going to try to introduce myself without writing a novel (so keep your fingers crossed).
I got clean and sober in a faith-based group in 1988, and I was very involved there until 2-3 years ago, put a lot of time into volunteer work, and in fact I ended up quite out of balance with my involvement there.
So a few years ago I started have some awarenesses that began with realizing I was burned out with my involvement there and that I was around a lot of toxic people too much of the time. I also felt like a lot of what was being practiced there wasn't really helpful to where my recovery is today...like it wasn't as good a fit for who I am today as it was when I was newer in recovery.
At the same time (coincidentally or not) I found myself questioning the faith-based premises involved. I came into that fellowship fairly open-minded...raised by an agnostic and an atheist who didn't push anything on the kids...so I was like clay ready to be molded, I think. I bought into the faith out of a sense of necessity and "practiced" that faith pretty much blindly for almost 20 years without question.
But now I was asking myself what I really believe, and over the course of a year or two doing a lot of reading and talking to the few people I felt I could be really honest with, I have come to find that I'm a non-theist...right now, anyway. I would guess I am leaning toward being an atheist. And when I first read the principles of humanism I was, like, YES!
I'm not worrying too much about defining it or picking up another "-ism" or "-ic" right now. If I could define a few of my wants today one of them would be to not become close-minded.
So now I'm in this state of transition. I still participate in the fellowship because I have a lot of excellent and real friendships there...and I learned what I needed there to get and stay clean and sober...but I've cut my participation back drastically compared to what it was. And there's been a sense of loss in that even though I realized it's what is best for me today.
What I've been hoping for is to find a place where I can support others in recovery, and get whatever support I might need, and develop some new friends outside the parameters of religious faith. I've really had it with dogma and litany and this-is-the-only-way.
And as I work online 5 days a week, a forum like this seems as good a place to start as any. I'm looking forward to hanging out and seeing what's up.
