Freya, Thank you very much.
I also see those folks in Al-anon who are coping, and I think, "How can you watch that?" Watching the destruction is not ok for me.
He lives away from us now, and that detachment is working, for now, but I see what you're saying that while I grow, he may go, and that gulf may become too wide for us to maintain any sort of relationship. Relationship is about relating, right? It is more difficult for me to relate to his thought process and his way of life, so that's something I haven't even tried. I'm all about simple and easy and free as of late.
I have to be open to the possibility that this will happen. I wasn't before. I am today.
Thank you very much.