Next time your DDH accuses YOU of not showing concern or interest in him or his health...ADMIT he is correct. Why should you be concerned, when he has shown that obviously is not really concerned about his own well-being, and has not been involved in your health problems either.
Leave him to his own devices, and concentrate your thinking on how you can assist yourself, and your sons to get rid of this millstone of misery from your lives.
Being incapacitated physically is hassle enough, as I know well....but being gutted by a couldn't give a damn, miserable old abuser is really too much to have to bear.
I feel so far away, and not knowing the laws of US States in relation to relationship breakdown and divorce, is a right pain in the butt, altho some of the posts on here have left me gob smacked at some legal rulings.