Good for you for going back WITH AN OPEN MIND!I see lots of posts from people have been put off by this or that at alanon.There are many differnt meetings, each with their own energy and mix of people..if you don't like one, try another.We also say in my group try it six times and we'll gladly refund your misery if you choose.
By the time people get to alanon, usually they are in pretty bad shape, generally no one goes on thier happiest day. It can be overwhelming, the God thing gets alot of people, lucky for me I was so desperate and the sight of all these happy people saying I didn't cause it, couldn't cure or control it was like ice water in hell to me.I wanted some serenity as I had NONE.
Much like the addict, I had to hit my bottom and SURRENDER..it's been over a year for me and I go 2-3 times a week..people see a big differnce in me..it's truly been a gift. Glad to see you opening up and helping yourself!