When my exabf let me leave so that he could drink uninterrupted, I had the good fortune to speak with a man that I know at work who has 22 years in AA, and is very involved and committed to his own long term recovery.
He said, "Your boyfriend hates himself more than you will ever know." He made me realize that it was not at all about me, or his love for me, or lack thereof. It's how the A feels about themselves that matter. And until they love themselves, they can love us, but never in a way that will matter.
I have chosen to take care of myself, I have not given up completely on the thought of a future with him, but I am open to the idea that I may never have that, and I can still be happy.
It does get easier.