Thread: Lost my way
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Old 12-09-2010, 06:27 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
wildbucky13
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 43
I have watched my life slowly improve every year I am away from him. I have been slowly learning to live again. I've made friends. I've gone out, and not cut the time short because I could not keep from wondering what was going on at home. I've watched my bank account grow. And I have been enjoying little things that many people take for granted, like the ability to leave my purse on the kitchen table.

I've learned to celebrate me, and treat myself to a new pair of shoes (or two) every year I've been away. I buy makeup, and wear it, because looking good makes me feel better. I have my hair cut every six weeks, because I actually went almost 10 years without one because I couldn't justify spending the money on myself.

I've grown in the 5 years since I first came here. I know I still have a lot of growing to do. I cut myself off from life for almost 13 years. I'm anxious to jump back in. But I want to learn how to do it without back sliding into the behavior that led me to my lost years in the first place. I'm not afraid to hurt, because not everything in life is sunshine and roses. And I understand I will hurt again. My goal is to not let the hurt control or destroy me, but to use it to learn from my mistakes, and go better armed into my next experience.

I have dreams, and I don't want to settle for half of them because of old habits or ingrained behaviors. The one thing that hasn't been beaten out of me yet is hope. I believe I will achieve everything I hope for.
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