Another alcoholic (wife and mother) chiming in to say that you're doing the right thing and to reach out and get as much support as you can. Your wife is not behaving in a healthy way, consciously or unconsciously and I don't know that her family is doing you guys any favors either. Of COURSE what everyone wants is for her to be home with her kids baking cookies but simply placing her there and slapping on an apron does not a Norman Rockwell painting make. I think you know that and I'm sorry that they don't seem to know it too.
Where is she, recovery wise? Do you think she's on the right track?
It's so hard because I can say that even when my husband was pleading with me to quit or at least get a grip I was just NOT in the zone where it was going to happen. I can see now that he had no power.
I really hope that your wife comes to understand that the power is all hers.
Please keep us posted.