SteppingUp, There comes a time when we who live with alcoholics must stand up for what is right, and what is wrong is wrong! This includes standing up for our children when their rights are starting to be stamped on by the alcoholic parent. You wrote "As I'm sure anyone with kids understands, it's very important to present a 'united front' in dealing with kids. My wife thinks that, because I'm her husband, I must back her up in any confrontation she decides to start." I don't agree! You are the only father that can stand up for your teenage son's rights!
You wrote "......Your father and I are working so hard to pay for this outstanding school that you're going to and you just can't seem to be bothered to even turn in work you've already done! And after all we do for you...!" Do you REALLY think your son cares about this and it's NOT his responsbility to care! All kids really care about is LOVE and validation, which has no price tag attached!