I look at it this way, if the alcoholic were able to deal with issues head on, they wouldn't be escaping to the bottle when things got stressful. Far easier to do that than deal with your issues, problems and how they affect others.
Recovery means having to look in the mirror to face oneself. She can't face others until she faces herself.
I try not to be baffled by the behavior of the RABF. Usually there are personality disorder issues lurking about but it is a chicken and egg thing.
All I can do is not let his oddball characteristics get me down or suck me dry. In your case, maybe it is a blessing in disguise.