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Old 12-07-2010, 02:10 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Summerpeach
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Ok, I'm going both ways with this one.
Addicts lie, period! He's only been sober 2 months and there is no way he's going to change in such a short time. It takes YEARS of spiritual recovery (12 steps) and AA and therapy to learn to stop lying. Lying is a survival mechanism for addicts.

You can stick around until he's spiritually healed where he will stop lying and cheating, or you can leave and find peace today.
He won't stop lying today because he doesn't know how to. You can't undo a lifetime of lying in a short time.

Rebuilding trust takes a lot of work on both ends. Him in recovery, you in recovery then in recovery together.
Ask yourself, what's easier, to leave and start over or put the work into this in hopes he will become a better person?

My ex was/is a liar and a cheater and once I caught him cheating, I was done! I left.
I did the AA, Al Anon (still do) and couples groups and therapy and he was sober close to 2 yrs and he still pathalogically lied to me and cheated.

It's a character defect which takes willingness and a lot of hard work to change.
Truthfully, addict just don't see lying as something all that bad
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