Hello Phoenix
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your situation. A few items you mentioned jump out at me, where I think you may be able to get some assistance.
Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird 
... I'm trying very hard to keep my mouth shut because it seems everything I say will set him off.....
That sounds like a very good plan. I suspect that when the pain in his neck gets large enough he will seek additional medical help on his own. If the military and the primary care were of no help, perhaps it was because of his attitude. I think you're doing the right thing by staying out of his way until he figures this out on his own.
Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird ... I had the services of ----- Care Inhome Care Services. However, I had these services discontinued because I was to embarrassed to having anyone come into my house. ....
Regardless of the embarrasement, it's not _your_ doing that your home is the condition that it is in. If you were to invite those people back they would document the situation you are in and take steps to help you. As long as you keep them out they will not know the truth, and just assume that everything is fine.
Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird ... One of my major concerns is trying to keep my grandson and my husband apart.... ......
Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird ... If it was just me, I would leave. However, I feel like I should protect my children, even at their ages, like a Mama Grizzley Bear would. ....
Well then take them _with_ you. As long as you stay, your children will stay, and things will only get worse.
Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird ... Please email me because he monitors all the phone calls coming into the house. ....
That makes me _very, very_ uncomfortable. The situation you describe places you halfway to being a prisoner. May I suggest you have your son _take_ you to the nearest public service office or shelter so you can speak to them freely. They will help you explore your options and make a plan that meets your needs.
Because of your stroke, you are entitled to be at "the front of the line" in these matters. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable with that special attention. I know I sometimes do with my own disability. Nevertheless, it seems to that you have _earned_ the right to be at the front of the line because you continue to do your best in life in spite of disability. You are not one of those people that have a minor hangnail and demand disable parking plates. ( A pet peeve of mine
)
You can get the assistance you need, but you're going to have to be willing to let them see the state to which your home has become as the result of your husbands' actions, and you're going to have to be pro-active for yourself and show up at _their_ office so they can't just send you back a form letter.
What do you think?
Mike