Old 12-07-2010, 06:38 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Buffalo66
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
i think it will get worse, he sounds in denial.
a few questions;;;
Does he change at any point during drinking? Become dismissive, mean, rude, change of voice or facial expression? has he ever done something while drinking that he forgot or that he was apologetic for later?
Here is my experience with my A, my A mom, my A dad...
If he has not had this happen yet, there is a great big chance it will start to happen soon.
An alcoholic dad?
Now, that adds in learned behavior on top of addictive traits.

What I am hearing is that you do not like the way he drinks, you worry for him, feel his pain for him.
What if he does not change it? What if it does progress into abuse, or unmanageability?

Where will you draw the line?
These are the questions that denial buries.
Being high functional in the job place, or even in everyday life alone does not make a good partner.

Ask yourself a few of these things:

Is my day or my quality of life suffering because I am spending more energy on his problem than on my own life?

Am I willing to shut up nd put up until he gets too uncomfortable with his own issue that he hits a bottom?

Do I want to wait and see what his bottom might be like?

You do not sound like leaving him is even an option to you, but, then you may need to look at whther you want to enable him by drinking with him, whether you want to spend anymore time helping a struggling swimmer get out of the deep end while he fights against you. your quality of life should be your first concern. Keep an eye on this.

good luck with this. Keep posting.
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