Thank you everyone for the very helpful replies. It's late here, but sometime in the morning I will check into the websites listed. I appreciate it so much.
I'm starting to resent my dad, as well. It seems the more I read here, spouses of 20+ years left for the sake of their children. It frustrates me my dad didn't leave when I was younger, so I didn't have to go through all this pain. Being an only child makes it worse, I have almost no one to talk to about it.
I've given up on trying to get her to quit. Is it normal for a heavy alcoholic like her to enjoy drinking the way she does? She will tell you to your face sober or drunk she doesn't WANT to quit.