(((hugs)))
You know... somehow, sometimes it's easier to focus on everybody else's problems. Because at the end of the day, whether it's your AH's drinking or your friend's drug addiction, it's somebody else's problem and you can comfort yourself by feeling that, in comparison, your life is pretty together.
It is hard to start asking those questions -- why am I drawn to these people? What is it in me that makes me collect addicts? -- because you can't distance yourself from them when they're about you.
And that's why babysteps are necessary. I lecture myself every day and say: "You can't figure the rest of life out right now. Right now, you can figure out whether you want oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast. Let's start with that, and then move on to what you're wearing to work today."
One of my friends used to say, "Babysteps will get you there, if you take enough of them." Try that. Don't worry about who you will live happily ever after with right now. Worry about what you want for lunch. And how you can take care of yourself.